What's that? You're on MySpace? What a coincidence! So are we!
**UPDATE FOR 10/9/06**
Hey kids! I have NO idea what's going on in this picture, but it looks fucking awesome!
Maybe if I was as awesome as these dudes I wouldn't need any help with my love life! Read all about it in:
**UPDATE FOR 9/29/06**
Kids, the Pope has an important message for you...
Hey, you know what? Me and John Paul II are both out of a job right now! Do they give out unemployment in hell?
How NOT to go on a job interview!!!
**UPDATE FOR 8/8/06**
Just because it's always fun to kick a man when he's down, here's an all Mel Gibson edition of:
**UPDATE FOR 7/25/06**
The Following is a public service announcement:
Thank you. That is all.
Now go read the Madman's new article for fuck's sake!
The Madman's Real Life Adventures!!!
**UPDATE FOR 7/18/06**
Simple Math is back! And it's stopping cars with its face!
**UPDATE FOR 7/11/06**
Children, Captain James Tiberius Kirk has something he'd like to say to the class:
And with that announcement the Starfleet would like to direct your attention to this:
The Madman's Party Report 2006!!!
**UPDATE FOR 6/25/06**
Hey, kids! Simple Math is going back to the movies!
**UPDATE FOR 6/18/06**
I'll bet Burt Reynolds wishes he could go back in time and untake these pictures, and I'll bet you wish you could un-see them! Well it's too late now unless you have a time machine! So you better just go ahead and read:
**UPDATE FOR 6/10/06**
Epilogue: The Dio-pocalypse
The post 6/6/6 WorldOkay, so according to the prophecies in The Necronomicon, which was written by "The Mad Arab" Abdul Alhazred in Damascus in 730 A.D.:
"For yea, when the planets have aligned on the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year, then the immortal known by One Name, the name you dare not speak with your blasphemous tongue, the immortal they shall call the Holy Diver, shall descend upon the realm of man as a Rainbow in the Dark, across the Sea of Dreams upon the back of a Tigre and ascend unto his mighty throne, the Sacred Heart, high atop the Silver Mountain where he shall reign for 10,000 bloody years."
But absolutely none of that cool shit went down! WTF? I'm really disappointed. Really, really disappointed. And I know you are too. So, while we're all sitting around waiting for the next millennia to pass so all the aforementioned cool shit will actually happen, feel free to read:
The Madman's Guide to:
Impractical Living vol.2!!!
**UPDATE FOR 6/6/06**
Happy Devil's Day everybody! Or is this "Satansgiving"?
And let's be honest, you're all going to hell anyway.
Why not just make it official?
**UPDATE FOR 6/2/06**
Check it out! I totally made a music video! With no music! How awesome is that? What'cha gonna do brother? What'cha gonna do? When the Hulkster pretends to play guitar?
Whenever you're done rocking out with the "Largest Arms in the World", which is gonna be what? 6 or 17 times in a row? Am I right? Hell yes, I am! Anyways, you can go ahead and read:
The Madman's Guide to:
Impractical Living vol.1!!!
**UPDATE FOR 5/25/06**
David "Hypno-Crotch" Hasselhoff would like to welcome you to his psychedelic pubic nightmare! Try not to let all the sexy control your mind!
This butt pirate would like you to read about real Pirates! And their shiny buckle shoes! So go read:
The Madman's Guide to:
Hiding Your Own Pirate Treasure!!!**UPDATE FOR 4/11/06**
I don't know about you guys, but I WANNA ROCK!!! And I wanna do it on a 2-Headed Axe of Thunder!!!
And while I'm rocking out like it can only be done on the Wicked Hydra of Guitars, feel free to read my new article:
**UPDATE FOR 3/21/06**
Hey, kids! These two really cool guys are superheroes! Here to fight the evil forces of... um... I have no fucking idea. Maybe they're here to teach us about magnets? Yeah, I seriously doubt it too...
Whenever you're done staring at their crotches, you can go ahead and feel free to read my latest article:
STRANGE TALES OF THE MOVIE THEATRE!!!
**UPDATE FOR 3/7/06**
Hey kids! Check out this guy's totally sweet bike!
And since we both know you've got nothing better to do, check out:
THE ULTIMATE BATTLE OF ARMEGEDDON!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (Etc)
**UPDATE FOR 2/23/06**
Hey kids! Today's article is brought to you by Vanilla Ice!
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you already forget who the hell he was? Does "Ninja Rap" bring back any memories? No? Well, maybe you could use some help. Why not try the Madman's sparkling new:
CELEBRITY MNEMOMIC DEVICES 2!!!
**UPDATE FOR 2/3/06**
It's a very football edition of
**UPDATE FOR 1/17/06**
Hey kids! Here's a joke for you:
Q: What clogged up the White House's toilet?
A: Lincoln's Log!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Boy, was that joke funny in 3rd grade! Why? Because the punch line involved poop! And you know what? Not so coincidentally, so does the latest update! What are the chances?
ATTACK OF THE MEN'S ROOM CREEPS!!!
**UPDATE FOR 12/29/05**
Ooooh, yeah! The Mach-o Man Randy Savage would like to wish
you and yours SEASON'S BEATINGS!!!
Is the Madman going to "Hell in a Hand Basket"? More like "Hell in a Ford Bronco II". Wait'll you see what he wants in trade for his eternal soul!
THE MADMAN'S LIST OF
DEMANDS TO THE CHURCH!!!
**UPDATE FOR 12/25/05**
HEY KIDS!!!
Santa Hussein says:
MERRY XMAS!!!!
This is what I got in my stocking this morning, BTW...
Hope you guys had a good one! I'm getting loaded...
**UPDATE FOR 12/12/05**
RANDOM THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
If Ted Kaczynski rode the short bus to school, would that make him the UNATARD???
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
...gawd, I'm drunk...
**UPDATE FOR 12/8/05**
Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know, I know. I haven't updated for awhile. Well, now I have. Too bad it ain't much of one, huh?
**UPDATE FOR 10/16/05**
Now, we all know that learning sucks. I mean c'mon, there's a damn good reason that I still wear shoes with velcro straps! But in case any of you nerds out there wanna do something "good" for your brains you can click down below.
**UPDATE FOR 9/25/05**
As if anyone actually needed to tell you this... (but you can still follow the magic link below and read all about it!)
Hey kids! Here's a joke for you:
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Q: What do Smurfette and Pablo Picasso have in common?
A: They both have a blue period!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and HA!
Click here just to click here!
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